An Honest Woman
December 17, 2007
This story about an honest woman has been making its way around the net by email:
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”
She again replied, “Why, yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.”
The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
“If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you to the electric chair.”






















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December 17, 2007 at 3:02 AM
HA ha ha, i loved it so much!
I wonder if you were there, would you fear asking her if she knows you?
December 17, 2007 at 3:29 AM
Good question, Faisal! I guess I would just pray she didn’t know about that night with the stripper, the donkey, and the rubber chicken.
December 17, 2007 at 6:11 AM
It wasn’t me, I have an evil twin.
December 17, 2007 at 7:23 AM
Paul, I had such a clever response to this post, really I did…and I was ready to write it down – that is until I read your response to Faisal’s question…and now I have questions, but because I fear what your answers might be…I’ll just keep them to myself…
December 17, 2007 at 7:29 AM
@ Brian: Sure, Brian, we all believe you. *wink wink* Certainly it wasn’t you.
@ Poetman: ROFLMAO!!!
December 17, 2007 at 10:32 AM
Honesty is not the best policy at times!
December 17, 2007 at 10:45 AM
Extrapolation would suggest she might make a reliable witness. But then again you cannot be sure with just 2 data points so getting a third one – about the judge – was definitely going to be useful. That the judge warned them off should be considered admissible too
December 17, 2007 at 10:59 AM
@Pr3rna: I doubt she makes it onto those lawyer’s Christmas Card lists this year — or any other year.
@Shefaly: I so enjoy your wit! But I bet that judge wouldn’t be nearly so appreciative of your insight.
December 18, 2007 at 2:02 AM
Loved this! I’ll have to share it with some lawyer “friends” of mine… LOL! Meantime, I have something for you: http://sfgirl-thealiennextdoor.blogspot.com/2007/12/you-are-when-you-were-bornreally-meme.html. ENjoy!
December 18, 2007 at 4:31 AM
Hi SF Girl! Thank you for you kind words, and welcome to the blog! Unfortunately, I can’t get your link to work.