Comments on: Danielle Goes to an Erotic Dance Club

By: Paul

Paul — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 05:38:30 +0000

Hi Kaytabug! I suppose some enjoyment of teasing does indeed help. Teasing is almost an art in itself, according to several of my friends.

On a different note, a friend was telling me earlier tonight that she thought one reason erotic dance has not gained the respectability in this country of, say, ballet, is because it gives women too much power — it doesn’t limit them in expressing their sexuality, and hence, the dancer becomes a threat to the status quo. I thought that was an interesting idea — although I haven’t quite put it here as well as she did.

By: Kaytabug

Kaytabug — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 14:08:09 +0000

Your hunch is correct.
Ha ha! No, I haven’t ever considered teaching erotic dance. Ironically enough I don’t feel I am good enough at it to teach someone else.
How do you teach someone to dance for themselves? There are certain moves that one could be taught. Moves that I myself picked up on, but if one is not in touch with their sexuality then it will look just like moves. There were a couple girls I worked with that looked like they were just going through the motions. That was sad to watch.
I also wonder if some amount of enjoying being a tease helps in the authentic department.

By: Paul

Paul — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 22:10:42 +0000

Hi Megan! Welcome to the blog! It’s delightful you dropped by! I was reading your personal blog yesterday and wishing I had half your wit! I nearly fell out of my chair laughing.

I’m very pleased the reports on this post have been good.

By: Megan @ Blog Nosh Magazine

Megan @ Blog Nosh Magazine — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 18:38:17 +0000

So, I’m the head editor at Blog Nosh Magazine, I know how the magazine works, and yet I still left my comment re. this post on our own site. And my comment was about commenting on the original posts! Ugh.

In short, this post is the one that has been the best example so far of why Blog Nosh Magazine may just work. I have heard repeatedly that “I never would have found a post like the one about the erotic dance club, but I loved it, clicked through to his blog, and found a whole new genre that I am enjoying now.”

Ah. That is all I can ask for and I thank you again for helping us get off the ground. This post was stellar.

By: Paul

Paul — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 00:19:22 +0000

Hi Kaytabug! Welcome to the blog!

I think you have very beautifully expressed what happens to us when we do something authentically. I suspect erotic dance was a positive experience for you because you did it for yourself and in your own way. Had you been doing it only for the money, you most likely would not have found it liberating. That’s my hunch. Thank you for such a great comment!

By the way, have you ever considered teaching erotic dance?

By: Kaytabug

Kaytabug — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 17:18:15 +0000

This is such an insightful post. I found it on Blog Nosh. I was an erotic dancer at one point in my life. I always thought the other girls at the club I worked at danced better than I did. After reading this I would like to believe that I was the only authentic one in there. I did dance for me, I had fun, I enjoyed what I was doing. I loved to dance and I did it my way. Even though I was working there to earn money to live, my reason for going to work had nothing to do with the almighty dollar, but rather had everything to do with how much I enjoyed what I did. Dancing every night did feel extremely liberating. 11 years later I still miss it.

By: Paul

Paul — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 04:45:50 +0000

Amy, how could I have missed your comment until now! I don’t at all mind your copying this post to your blog so long as you link back to the original here.

The more you dance — the more you explore how you really feel — the less you will rely on preconceived notions of what you should be doing. At least that’s what I think. I adore your comments!

By: Amy

Amy — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 08:57:05 +0000

Hey Paul i’m so sorry it’s taken me over a month to get back to your blog! I’m so happy u wrote back! I’m exuberant when i find likeminds/souls in the world! I actually copied and pasted this in my blogs on my myspace page after i read it because i wanted others opinions on it. I quoted you and put your name on it though! I hope you don’t mind that i did that…..
This Valentines Day i did a striptease for my boyfriend hehe and this blog came to mind. I try and be as authentic as possible when i dance, and as authentic as i think i am, i’m sure some of my moves are mixed in with “preconcieved notions” as well as what my boyfriend would like. And it’s a very subtle line sometimes between what is “fully authentic” and what is “acting”. I mean maybe i’m going into more psychological discussions because we are all largely products of our environment. No matter what dancer it is, she is going to be doing some “rehearsed motions” i imagine, and that isn’t all bad. We’re all human and sexual and we learn from our environment so it’s probably unavoidable to not “act” to some degree. But i think it’s finding a healthy integration of learned responses to our own innate rhythms that is the difference of authentic eroticism or superficial eroticism i’ll call it. I still have a few more dances to do for him to understand more fully my own rhythms and i’m completely excited to learn.

By: Paul

Paul — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 02:03:36 +0000

Amy, welcome to my blog! You’ve just made my evening with your kind words and insightful comments! I very much agree with you that society is often the enemy of authenticity. It can also at times support it — but I would like to see much more support of authenticity than society currently gives.

One way society harms us, I believe, is that it tricks so many of us into believing we can satisfy all our human needs through consumption of products and services. That’s good for the economy, but it’s very bad for the psyche. Humans have needs that simply cannot be satisfied by consumption. One of those needs, as you point out, is to in some way be authentic in expressing ourselves.

By: Amy

Amy — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:03:19 +0000

Paul i love you! lol Seriously i am so blown away by this blog. Maybe because i feel exactly the same way and i’ve never been able to articulate it so perfectly as you did here. I wish that more men and women for that matter understood this and embraced it’s truth, i really do. Our world would be genuinely more authentic and beautiful. But it seems, like you kind of said, most don’t really care about one showing there own authenticity. This is obvious in many areas of modern society. When it comes to women and lust and erotic dance, most are just out for a manufactured sexuality, they may secretly desire more, but they just settle for something that everyone else says is “top of the line”. I love dance of all kinds but bellydancing is one that i have fell in love with because it isn’t a one size fits all sexual dance, it’s finding your own rythms and expressing your soul and sexuality/art through it, your own authenticity. You have guidelines to follow but it is a very personal dance after you learn the basics. That is what attracts me so much to that dance. I do think much of art is sexual energy, that is why some of us feel so compelled to create art in our lives, atleast those of us open to those drives.